Twisted to survive, not thrive

There’s a kind of damage that doesn’t just hurt — it takes pieces of you with it. When life has stripped you, betrayed you, or left you crawling through the wreckage, it’s not just the bruises or the memories you’re left to heal from. It’s the theft of your soul. Trauma, addiction, betrayal — they don’t just wound, they steal. They take your trust, your joy, your sense of safety in your own skin. And this is especially devastating when the very people who were supposed to protect you — parents, family, the ones you were told you could trust without question — are the ones who brought the dysfunction, neglect, or harm. A soul lost in that kind of betrayal is harder to reclaim because it isn’t just safety that’s been taken; it’s the blueprint for safety itself. The hands that should have caught you were the ones that dropped you, and that rewrites something deep in your bones.

When the roots are poisoned, the branches grow in strange, protective ways — twisted to survive, not to thrive. The wound runs deep because it forces you to rebuild a sense of worth, love, and belonging from scratch, without a clear model to follow. Recovery in this place isn’t just about fighting for what was stolen; it’s about daring to believe you were ever worthy of having it in the first place. And that’s why reclaiming yourself here isn’t just healing — it’s a quiet rebellion against everything you were taught to believe about your own value.

The reality for so many who’ve lived through pain, neglect, or betrayal. When life’s earliest lessons teach you that love is conditional, safety is unreliable, and trust comes with a price, your mind and body adapt in ways that aren’t about flourishing — they’re about staying alive. You learn to bend yourself into shapes that keep you from breaking, even if those shapes aren’t who you really are. You become hypervigilant, reading every room like a battlefield. You shrink to avoid attention or overperform to earn it, because somewhere deep down you learned your worth had to be negotiated. This is survival wiring. And while it may have kept you alive, it can strangle your growth if you don’t recognize it. Understanding this matters because without that awareness, you’ll keep mistaking survival for living, wondering why peace feels unsafe and joy feels foreign. Recovery isn’t just healing the hurt — it’s slowly uncoiling those twisted roots so you can grow in the open, not just in the shadows.

#actuallyican #recovery #traumahealing #mentalhealth