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Hi, There are so few of you who are involved with assisting people with addictions but who aren't held captive by the 12 step crowd. Absolutely astonishing is how the myths of addiction as "disease", powerlessness, being an addict forever, and others are just accepted wholesale by the majority of the recovery industry. I found your website way back last November but was seeing this counselor who was a "12 steps or nothing" kind of guy. I never swallowed the 12 step nonsense. In fact, I found that there is a segment of Christendom who have not been taken in by 12 step thinking and present Biblical evidence contrary to the false principles of 12 stepping. I don't understand why so many therapists support a program (12 steps) with its various teachings which in effect beat a person down and do not promote any concept of being worthwhile as a person. The only way a person gains value is by remaining firmly entrenched in the group and working steps forever. Even in this way of maintaining sobriety, the emphasis is all on self. That is one of the items which caught my eye, one of the five steps is to be selfless rather than selfish. I read William Playfair's book "The Useful Lie" which also debunks the concept of addiction as disease. I, personally, think that modern man is no different than his ancestors when it comes to looking for ways of blame shifting and that is what the disease model allows. It lets people off the hook. They can shirk personal responsibility and just say that the disease was making them do it. I noticed that there were no initials behind your name. Do you do this purposefully? I'm guessing you have done some serious studies or you could not have written the long article of "The Forgotten Five Steps" I read the .pdf Just wish your reasoned out approach could be seen by more folks. I have directed others to your website at the forums. Best wishes, M.

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Hi Tim, I just got done reading the addiction alternative wow pretty powerful and all so true. Nothing will set you free like the truth, I know this but like you said it's all about choice nothing more nothing less. I am in the "stuck mode" myself and there isn't one thing about addiction that is fun hasn't been for a long long time. I am so busy trying to cover up my using mostly from family afraid to death that they will find out that I have made the "choice" to dabble again after having some time under my belt. The fear of them just finding out, (my husband knows, he's in prison, trying to help me of course) it's about my folks and kids finding out mostly because in my head, you know that thing that we really shouldn't give into I am convinced that they will write me off for good. Needless to say I think I have done enough to them to last a lifetime, I just can't bare the thought of hurting them one more time so I act as if they already know and have written me off so I use more when in fact all I have to do is make that choice to say I'm done!!! What I have a problem with is finishing a sack till its gone completely then I'll quit, I'm done after this which really are my intentions. I know the down time is coming and as much as I am going to hate life in the next 3-4 days I aint doing it till it's gone completely. typical addict here I could go on forever about this to someone who really understands the claws of addiction. This may sound bizzare but a lot of what you had to say in your article I've really already known in my heart but was afraid to speak up in fear of people telling me I'm just coming up with another excuse which I don't believe I was or am. Like you said what works for one person won't necessarily work for another, I truly believe that. Just like the NA program didn't work for me, everyone seems to have the answer for me, go back to meetings blah blah blah, for me it's like going against the grain for me anyway. Not to say I didn't get some good stuff out of it because I did but as with anyplace else that too was an inperfect world. I felt people weren't really being sincere. Ok Tim I have babbled long enough, I apologize. Just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that the choice is all mine. Hope is in the air, I feel it!! Take care, T.

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Help Others - Tell Your Story!

This blog is for those who may be struggling with "sobriety" or maintaining the alcohol or drug free life they desire. Feel free to ask questions or leave comments on what has worked or not worked for you in "recovery". It is very beneficial for others to see what others have done to succeed in recovery and also to help those who still struggle with alcohol or drugs. There are many who struggled with alcohol or drug addiction and there are many who need the support and encouragement of others on their journey. Feel free to leave your story and struggles and get feedback from others!

Keep believing.

Tim

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AA and treatment can be beneficial in changing one's life from alcohol addiction or drugs. However, I have met many alcohol or drug users who just couldn't make it work. They believed in a different philosophy or life course. They wanted more than what was offered.
You are not a failure because you did not succeed in previous attempts at "sobriety". Look deeper. Find your passion. Raise your standards and begin to believe again...... HOPE!

If you have tried to quit alcohol or drugs, and just can't find that peace and happiness through traditional programs, read on. Open your mind and heart to what is possible and know that you are not alone. There are others who struggled also, but found a way to live again....

There are many who have succeeded in alcoholic recovery or addict recovery. Talking with those who have quit using alcohol or drugs, it becomes apparent that in the whole addiction recovery field that “One approach does not fit all”. We are all unique in our individual needs and struggles when it comes to our own individual addiction recovery.

Others who still struggle with alcohol relapse or drug relapse often site that they do not agree with the approach that is put upon them when they enter drug or alcohol rehab. They may not agree with being powerless or like the labels treatment often put upon them.

I have been asked if I thought that taking away the disease of drug or alcohol addiction would only encourage the alcoholic or addict to continue to drink or use drugs in addiction recovery and continue to experience alcohol or drug relapse. That the disease concept is needed to let people know they cannot keep using drugs or alcohol or face death.

This is a fear tactic and it does not work. If it did, our current addiction treatment system would not lose or exclude the majority of those seeking drug help or alcohol help. Current drug or alcohol dependence treatment is not working. The majority of those who quit, quit on their own. They did not give up their will to a disease, but took personal responsibility for their behavior in addiction recovery.

Taking personal responsibility is very important for the alcoholic husband or alcoholic spouse or anyone struggling with addictions. But, what about those who are finding it difficult to quit drinking or using drugs and continue to struggle with alcohol or drug abuse addiction?

I do not believe that because some cannot or will not stop that it must be a disease. The purpose of the disease concept is to justify behavior we cannot understand. I would venture that most who have some experience in the addiction recovery field would probably agree.

Why do I say this? Because, moral inventories, amends, character defects, and different clinical therapies would be silly if addiction was purely a disease. Making amends or exploring childhood resentments would do little to eliminate something like cancer. What would be more effective is to teach the person the power of choice and empowerment in choosing coping responses to lead a more fulfilled life in addiction recovery.

So I feel it is important to offer an alternative view for those that seeking drug or
alcohol abuse help. I would like to replace the fear of disease with the empowerment of choice. If someone chooses to continue using alcohol or drugs, it will not be because they are diseased, but because they have not been convinced they can successfully live life without alcohol or drugs.

If you struggle with an addiction know that there is an NA and AA Alternative to addiction recovery and many have succeeded in becoming alcohol or drug free. Do not give up and keep believing!

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You can read more on the addiction workbook
An addiction self help alternative

Introduction to the "Forgotten Five Steps" addiction workbook

Those who struggle to quit drinking are finding that often the mainstream thinking isn't helping them. Three or four alcohol or drug rehabs later, many counseling sessions attended, and hundreds or even thousands of dollars spent only to find out that relapse is a part of treatment and the alcohol addiction "disease" is with you forever! What? Then why go? Why quit drinking? If something does not produce acceptable results, why continue in it? Because we have been led to believe that alcohol addiction is a disease. We have been told that the only way to "recover" or quit drinking is to attend treatment and endless AA meetings for the rest of our lives. The truth is that most people who have had problems with alcohol in the past quit drinking on their own. The following is a list of five steps that I found to be common in others who have successfully quit drinking on their own and without AA. I will give a brief explaination of each step and how to implement them to quit drinking and achieve a fulfilled life.

Step1 - Get out of your head!

You have decided to quit using alcohol after much mental debate. A day or two goes by and you start to feel better physically. You are very proud of yourself. Something happens at work that is stressful and what happens. Your head starts looking for a way to cope with the stress. The alcohol debate begins again. You start rationalizing and justifying how it may not be so bad for one more drink. STOP right there! You are and will achieve what you think! Get out of your head and focus on something else. It’s your negative thinking that got you into this alcohol mess to begin with. But how do you do this?

Step2 - Be selfless not selfish!

A major reason to want to use alcohol and not quit drinking is selfishness. The “poor me” syndrome. The whole world starts to revolve around you and no one has as bad a problem as you do. Well none of these problems will be remedied by using alcohol. You won’t pay your bills or patch up the situation with your spouse or at work by using. You won’t even find that moment of happiness you are so desperately seeking by using alcohol. Instead of going up into your head and feeling miserable about yourself or situation, help someone! Get out of your head and into someone else’s world. Kindness to others is the key here, for it does not allow you to have a pity party in your head. The greatest cure and joy in the world to combat misery and selfishness is to help someone else. Talk to someone who seems down. Volunteer at a hospital or detox center. Do anything to get out of your head and not think about yourself. It works!

Step3 - Do something!

Nothing will change and you will not quit drinking alcohol if you sit on the couch feeling sorry for yourself. You need motion and action. All the planning and goals mean little if you don’t put some action behind them. Do something! Get a hobby, volunteer your time, go running, read a book. Whatever will help put you in motion. The concept of fear is important here for most who struggle to quit drinking alcohol have let fear immobilize them. Remember this: fear lessons and becomes irrelevant when we are actively working toward a goal. Do something toward a goal you have.

Step4 - Choose a goal!

A goal is something you want to achieve that does not hurt yourself or others. It’s what you want to focus your life towards. Those who struggle to quit drinking alcohol often lose sight of what their goals are. Find one! What do you enjoy doing? Even if it is a small goal, find one. Finding a goal and working towards it eliminates the power of alcohol in your life. Your life becomes about who you want to be not who you were.

Step5 - Establish meaning in your life!

If you are spiritual or religious, PRAY. Re-connect with life and that quiet but persistent voice inside you. Your emotions will tell you when your focus is wrong. Emotions are the nerves to the soul. Listen to them, and if you are having negative emotions look at where your focus is right now. Readjust it! When you were drinking your focus was only on yourself. You weren’t happy. You can be! Who do you want to be, what do you want to value, and who do you want to care about? Focus is individual for everyone, but you know it is there. You feel it. You are not ignorant, weak, or stupid. You have just never pushed through your fear of life by getting out of your head, thinking of others first, and putting action behind your goals. You do these simple things and you have just obtained your new focus!

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A great site to post your experiences with addiction recovery and any alternative addiction recovery techniques you may have. There are many ways people have utilized to overcome alcohol or drug addiction. Do not give up hope and keep believing! Feel free to share.

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