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Rebuilding After the Ruin

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FO U N D AT I ON: LE AR N I N G T O EX I S T WI TH OU T T H E CHA O S Nobody talks about the identity crisis of healing. You spent years being the person who drank, the one who numbed, the one who disappeared when it got too hard. That identity was more than just addiction—it was your structure, your ritual, your way of moving through the world. You knew how to exist inside destruction. You knew how to build your life around the next escape. And now? Now that the crutch is gone—who the hell are you supposed to be? There’s a misconception that once you remove the addiction, life will naturally rearrange itself into something whole. But addiction wasn’t just a habit—it was a framework. It dictated your relationships, your choices, the way you coped, the way you existed. Without it, there is no automatic reset. There is just the blank space where it used to be. The hardest part of stopping isn’t stopping—it’s waking up the next day and realizing you don’t know how to live inside the q...
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Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thinking: A Guide to Overcoming ANTs

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Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thinking: A Guide to Overcoming ANTs What Are ANTs? ANTs, a concept popularized by Dr. Daniel Amen, are the automatic, negative thoughts that creep into your mind, often during moments of stress or self-doubt. These thoughts can take many forms, such as believing you’ll never be good enough, catastrophizing a small mistake, or assuming others view you negatively. Negative thoughts can feel particularly overwhelming because they feed into emotional sensitivity and a tendency to overanalyze situations. When these patterns of self-criticism or regret take hold, it can feel like you’re trapped in a loop of self-defeating thoughts. Stress and negative emotions can amplify this loop, making it even harder to let go of these thought patterns. For some, these thoughts may even feel engaging because the brain becomes hooked on replaying past mistakes or dwelling on potential future problems. The Role of Dopamine in Negative Thinking These negative thoughts, while ...
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The Blade of the Storm

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There's a storm inside me, ravenous, unyielding, tearing through marrow and bone. It howls my name, shaking the walls of a house already crumbling. No light reaches here. No sound but the crash of waves, the gnash of despair against the cliffs of my soul. I reach for the blade like a lover, its cold kiss a promise, its edge a choir of sirens. "Let me free you," it sings, and I listen because nothing else will. The sting is a hymn; it drowns the storm for a moment, but the silence never lasts. Each etch I draw, a map- a desperate attempt to chart what cannot be spoken, what cannot be seen. But the ink runs red, and the map leads nowhere but back to places where the wreckage began. I sink deeper, my hands shaking, my breath heavy with the weight of shadows. I think, maybe this is all I am: a body breaking under its own weight, a canvas for pain, a vessel for despair. But then— a flicker, faint as a candle's breath. A whisper rises, not from the blade, but from somewhere...
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The Dream

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For so long, I thought the moments of light were illusions—temporary escapes from a reality I couldn’t face. But as I stood in the clarity of my own truth, I realized the dream was never the lie. It was the fear of believing in it that kept me trapped.
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The Graveyard

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The graveyard holds the silent echoes of unfulfilled potential—the wealth of dreams that never saw the light of day, brilliance that never broke the surface. It’s not the world’s banks or towering skylines that house the most untapped riches. It’s the rows of headstones, the cold ground beneath them, cradling forgotten ideas and ambitions that perished in the hearts of those too afraid to act. In the graveyard lies the unwritten novel that could have changed the way we see the world. There’s a melody buried that might have stirred souls for generations. The blueprint for an innovation that could have redefined entire industries lies dormant, sealed away by doubt. The graveyard is heavy with the weight of what could have been—but never was. But here you are. Still breathing. Still standing. The soil beneath your feet is not yet ready to take you. That gnawing fear, the one that convinces you it’s safer to stay quiet, to keep your ideas tucked away—it's a lie that feeds the graveyard...
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Keep Screaming

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  Keep Screaming Even in the deepest, most unsettling places, where darkness presses in from every angle and the weight feels unbearable, there’s a voice inside that refuses to be silenced. It’s the scream that comes when all else is stripped away—the raw, unfiltered demand to keep going. It’s not polished or controlled; it’s jagged, relentless, sometimes nothing more than a whisper, but it’s there. Even at the lowest points, it’s a reminder that you’re still here, still fighting, still human. No matter what shadows may try to swallow you, that scream holds a glimmer of defiance. It’s proof that survival is not just in quiet resilience; sometimes, it’s in the loud, unyielding cry that refuses to disappear into the void. Read more: twelch.com 2bits ebook  
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Monsters

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  Monsters           “I wish it were as simple as shadows beneath the bed, as easy as locking the closet door. But the paths I’ve walked are darker than childhood fears—they lead where nightmares barely dare.”   The paths I’ve walked are darker than childhood fears—they reveal a side of life that nightmares barely touch. These weren’t the monsters we learned to chase away; these crept in through choices, small and unassuming, until they grew teeth, sharp and relentless, gnawing at the edges of everything I thought I was.   The darkness doesn’t announce itself; it seeps in quietly, slipping into life without fanfare. It isn’t always a big, monstrous evil but often the slow creep of small choices, repeated over time, until they twist into something unrecognizable. These urges, these shadows—they latch onto desires, needs, even a sense of failure, twisting intentions until they no longer feel like mine. But just as these dark forc...
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